LONDON – This is an exclusive interview with the royal family.

Charles: We are all heartbroken that my mother has died, and a lot less heartbroken that she left me the throne!

Harry: How come you’re king? You’re just going to die in another couple of years!

Charles: Treason! You have insulted my royal body!

Reporter: Um…

Charles: Don’t ‘Um’ me! I’m the king.

Harry: The King Kong you mean! You’ve been around since dinosaur times!

Reporter: So are you happy with the line of succession Harry? I thought you gave up being prince!

Harry: I hate the line of succession! I just want the royal family’s gold!

Charles: I just want what’s best for my people, and my fortune.

Harry: So what? You just want a good nursing home.

This interview was cut short because it might not have been appropriate for young readers.