(Washington DC) Today, reporters are flocking to the White House because the secret service found white powder on a door way near the Oval Office. They gave the substance to the White House kitchen, thinking that they dropped flower. This is standard procedure in the White House because no-one really cares if Joe Biden eats off the floor anyway. The kitchen identified the substance as cocaine by checking its taste against that of the cocaine in their fridge. This would explain the “President’s” constant trips to the border, to “show that we are friends with the Mexicans”.